Culture / SATIRERock Legend Plays to 150 Bears, Enjoys First Audience in Years Not Filming the Entire Concert
Fictional music industry panel alarmed by crowd’s insistence on experiencing the event.
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30 ORIGINAL SATIRICAL ARTICLESCulture / SATIRE
Culture / SATIRERobot Appears at Fashion Week, Finally Giving Industry a Model Who Can Be Paid in Exposure and Electricity
Machine immediately understands collection, declines to explain it.
Culture / SATIREBritain Builds David Attenborough Out of 11,000 Pumpkins, Briefly Giving Agriculture a Clear Objective
For once, everyone involved knows exactly what the orange bits are for.
Culture / SATIRELondon Festival Cancelled After People Make Classic Mistake of Attending It
Organisers seek a sustainable balance between popularity and the presence of visitors.
Culture / SATIREScientists Locate Exact Night Behind Famous Painting, Critics Demand to Know Whether Artist Had Permission
A breakthrough confirms the sky had been providing reference material without an exhibition statement.
Culture / SATIREWorld’s Longest Chilli Sent Back by Diner Who Asked for Something Mild
The kitchen explains that its warning referred to length rather than an emotional experience.
Culture / SATIREWaxworks Moved Again After Failing to Clarify Their Relationship With the Institution
The figures maintain a dignified silence, widely regarded as their strongest media performance.
Culture / SATIREBear Visits Library, Immediately Outperforms Everyone Who Said They Were Getting Back Into Reading
Staff welcome a visitor who found the building without first asking whether the book was available as a podcast.
Culture / SATIRELuxury Brands Ask Customers to Stop Being Poor in Front of the Handbags
Fashion houses fear visible budgeting is damaging the atmosphere of effortless wealth.
Culture / SATIREParis boutiques launch plywood collection, prices available on request
Protective boarding becomes an exclusive capsule range. Customers must demonstrate a longstanding relationship with timber.
Culture / SATIREFestival ticket buyer spends longer arranging films than watching them
His cultural calendar is flawless. His actual attendance remains provisional.
Culture / SATIRENostalgia concert reassures audience it had excellent taste all along
An evening of familiar songs provides a flattering review of several decades of personal decisions.
Culture / SATIRETheatre fan pays for exclusive glimpse behind scenes, discovers another ticket desk
Access to the people who explain access is available in the premium package.
Culture / SATIREConcert audience requests recording of evening spent recording concert
A complete account exists, provided nobody expects to hear the orchestra.
Culture / SATIREClassical concert reveals advertising soundtrack has unexpectedly long introduction
A familiar theme survives several minutes without somebody offering finance.
Culture / SATIREAwards viewer objects to judges’ taste using album he has not heard
His detailed criticism is based on the confidence of the headline.
Culture / SATIREMusic fan waits for prize result before confirming he always preferred the winner
Independent taste will be announced following the judges’ decision.
Culture / SATIREMan attends author talk to discover whether his own question might be a book
Festival staff have requested a synopsis before returning the microphone.
Culture / SATIRELiterature festival visitor queues an hour to have unread book made harder to give away
A personal inscription has transformed a possession into a lifelong obligation.
Culture / SATIRELiterary judge refuses to shortlist email because ending is too neat
“Kind regards” offers a closure the modern condition cannot honestly support.
Culture / SATIREBooker shortlist allows man to buy six new books instead of reading existing forty
His bedside table has entered its own period of structural experimentation.
Culture / SATIREInvite-only event invites guests to appreciate how exclusive not being invited feels
The queue has been divided into important people and people dressed as important people.
Culture / SATIREFashion guest spends more time selecting arrival outfit than attending show
The collection is believed to have happened somewhere behind the photographs.
Culture / SATIREFashion Week restores individuality with collection everyone must now wear
The industry’s latest expression of freedom comes with remarkably precise instructions.
Culture / SATIRECollector buys artwork after dealer confirms nobody else quite understands it
The uncertainty will be insured separately.
Culture / SATIRELondoner pays to visit art he cannot afford, calls it refreshing break from property websites
Both experiences involve white rooms and somebody refusing to discuss the price.
Culture / SATIREArt fair visitor praises radiator before discovering it heats the room
Staff say this is the first useful interpretation they have heard all week.
Culture / SATIREAudience question at film festival granted its own three-part distribution deal
The director is expected to answer when the sequel reaches cinemas.
Culture / SATIREMan applauds film credits to confirm he understood the ending
His hands are confident. His explanation is still in development.
Culture / SATIRELondon film premiere spends entire budget on people explaining why cinema matters
The film itself will be released once someone has found a projector.