An imaginary fashion house has welcomed a robotic runway participant as the ideal collaborator: punctual, expressionless and able to survive an entire working day on something cheaper than lunch.
The fictional collection explores the relationship between the human body and garments that make sitting down a contractual issue. The robot’s contribution is described as a dialogue with the future, although its actual dialogue consists of a low-battery warning.
Stylists were initially concerned the machine lacked emotion. Senior editors reassured them that the appropriate runway expression was already very close to discovering a disappointing service charge. No additional programming would be required.
An invented casting director praised the robot’s professionalism. It never asked whether the outfit was finished, whether the shoes fitted or whether the promised exposure could be exchanged for rent. Its only rider was a socket near the changing area.
Critics called the appearance a challenge to conventional beauty standards, then spent the rest of the evening agreeing that precisely this robot was now the standard. Several guests ordered metallic accessories to demonstrate their independence of thought.
The machine has since been invited to an after-party. It declined, explaining that it had already stood in a room while people photographed one another standing in a room. Its agent described this as a compellingly authentic new direction.
