A London premiere has successfully demonstrated the enduring importance of cinema by devoting nearly every available minute to speeches about its enduring importance.
The event began with a producer explaining that stories bring people together, followed by a sponsor explaining that partnerships bring stories together, followed by a host bringing neither together because the autocue had frozen.
Guests then watched a short film about the making of the longer film, which contained an interview about the challenges of finding time to make it. The longer film was delayed by an interview about those challenges.
One executive described the screening as a celebration of the collective experience, while asking an assistant whether the actual collective experience could be emailed over as a private link.
By the time the lights dimmed, several guests had left to describe the evening as unforgettable. Their photographs established that they had attended the building.
The remaining audience was invited to stay for a discussion of what it had just seen. This proved unusually productive, as what it had just seen was mostly discussion.
The festival’s financial director confirmed cinema was alive and well. It was merely waiting outside for its accreditation.
