Life / SATIREMarmot Wins Award for Eating and Sleeping, Humans Demand to Know Where to Apply
A lifetime of apparently transferable skills has finally found a recognised qualification.
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142 STORIES · ALL ORIGINAL SATIREShowing 49–60 of 142 stories.
Life / SATIRE
Money / SATIREFloating Island Moves 30km, Estate Agent Calls It an Improving Transport Link
The location is excellent, although buyers are advised to check again before exchanging contracts.
Britain / SATIRECow Evades Police After Refusing to Accept Fence Was a Binding Agreement
The suspect maintains that the grass formed a continuous landscape and the paperwork came later.
Life / SATIREHalf-Marathon Becomes Triathlon After Organisers Discover Water
Entrants question whether the premium registration package included the option to remain on land.
Life / SATIREUgliest Dog Wins Prize, Owner Finally Has Official Defence of Dating-App Photo
Judges celebrate a face that has never once needed to explain it is more attractive in person.
Culture / SATIREWaxworks Moved Again After Failing to Clarify Their Relationship With the Institution
The figures maintain a dignified silence, widely regarded as their strongest media performance.
Technology / SATIRERobot Breaks Sprint Record, Disqualified From Office Sports Day for Having No Excuse
Colleagues demand proof it stayed up late and has a slightly troublesome knee.
Society / SATIREZoo Weighs 10,000 Animals Without Once Calling It a Wellness Journey
A penguin is informed of its mass and allowed to continue being a penguin.
Money / SATIREJapan Moves Entire Castle by Hand; British Buyer Still Waiting for Conveyancer to Open Email
The building has changed location more quickly than the proposed completion date.
Life / SATIREGuard Dog Brings Intruder a Toy, Cites Commitment to De-escalation
An independent review finds the property completely unprotected but exceptionally welcoming.
Society / SATIREChihuahua Joins National Guard, Requests Rank Commensurate With Existing Opinion of Himself
The recruit has already identified a vacuum cleaner as a threat to national stability.
Travel / SATIREMan on Skateboard Reaches 94mph, Still Cannot Overtake Rail Replacement Bus Administration
The vehicle has four wheels, no engine and a refreshingly short explanation of why it is late.