A skateboard capable of travelling at 94mph has been referred to a fictional British transport panel to determine why its passenger has not yet received an explanation of the revised timetable.
The panel acknowledged that four wheels and a slope could produce an impressive journey. It remained concerned about the absence of a customer-information system describing the wheels as temporarily unavailable.
To bring the service into line with expectations, consultants recommended replacing the hill with three separate hills, requiring passengers to carry the board between them and making the final connection leave two minutes before the first arrival.
An operator's spokesman said raw speed was an outdated measure of transport performance. The modern passenger also values a friendly announcement that the delay is now longer than originally announced.
The skateboard's inventor was asked whether he had considered a booking fee. He replied that the board did not need booking. The panel recorded this as a significant obstacle to commercialisation.
A trial commuter welcomed the simplicity but requested somewhere to charge his phone. The proposal now includes an app, an account, an email verification link and a ninety-day password policy.
The board is expected to enter service once its speed has been brought down to a level compatible with the procurement process.
