Life / SATIREKettle becomes household’s most carefully scheduled appointment
Tea is still spontaneous, provided forty-eight hours notice is given.
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142 STORIES · ALL ORIGINAL SATIREShowing 109–120 of 142 stories.
Life / SATIRE
Life / SATIREHousehold appoints thermostat finance director
Any increase above seventeen degrees will require a business case.
Life / SATIREBritain buys emergency biscuits to prepare for biscuit inflation
The contingency tin is already being used for routine incidents.
Life / SATIREFish counter introduces mortgage adviser
The catch of the day is a five-year fixed rate.
Life / SATIREPremium supermarket range now sold with a short explanation of your success
The packaging reassures shoppers that the same lentils would disappoint them elsewhere.
Life / SATIREMan spends £18 on petrol to save £2 at cheaper supermarket
The spreadsheet has been declared a protected emotional asset.
Life / SATIRESupermarket loyalty card now requires an actual declaration of loyalty
Customers must defend their chosen shop at dinner parties.
Life / SATIREHouse viewing requires proof of funds and convincing impression of happiness
Buyers must demonstrate they can describe a damp wall as character.
Life / SATIRELandlord lists emotional baggage as second bedroom
The room has excellent potential for somebody who can sleep standing up.
Life / SATIRELondon flat comes with exclusive access to the idea of a garden
The outdoor space is available to imagine between six and nine on weekdays.
Culture / SATIREFestival ticket buyer spends longer arranging films than watching them
His cultural calendar is flawless. His actual attendance remains provisional.
Culture / SATIRENostalgia concert reassures audience it had excellent taste all along
An evening of familiar songs provides a flattering review of several decades of personal decisions.