A couple have introduced a kettle booking system after discovering that boiling water has become an activity worth holding a meeting about. The shared calendar currently shows two teas, a possible coffee and a slot reserved for being unexpectedly cold.
To minimise waste, residents must declare their preferred drink, mug capacity and likelihood of wandering off before the water boils. Anyone saying "I might have one" will be charged a cancellation fee in biscuits. A second boil requires written explanation and a full account of where the first one went.
The system was devised by Andrew Vale, who spent an entire evening designing coloured categories while his laptop, television and decorative kitchen lights remained on. He estimates the approach will save an amount that cannot yet be separated from the cost of printing the guidance. His partner has categorised his explanation as hot air.
An urgent-tea procedure allows immediate access following a difficult phone call, but all other emotional events should be anticipated during weekly planning. The couple are considering one carefree cup a month, subject to review. Andrew has asked whether the system has improved their quality of life. His partner has entered the question into the calendar for consideration next Thursday.
