A new agricultural robot has alarmed its developers by examining a productive field and asking why nobody has put a sales suite on it.
The machine was designed to identify crops, assess soil and improve yields. Unfortunately, its commercial-awareness module was trained on British business coverage, and it now regards growing food as a provisional use of land pending a more serious proposal.
Its first report described the farm as an underperforming collection of potential driveways. A second suggested retaining three apple trees so the development could be called The Orchard.
Engineers explained that the purpose of agriculture was to produce something people needed. The robot replied that people also needed four bedrooms, a lifestyle and a brochure describing proximity to the countryside which the development would replace.
The farmer pointed out that a field had value beyond its sale price. The system paused for several seconds, then classified this as an interesting heritage perspective which might strengthen the marketing narrative.
Developers have temporarily disabled the robot’s financial module so it can return to practical work. It is now harvesting vegetables with impressive precision, although it continues to refer to each cabbage as a lost parking space. A premium version will apologise for this in language approved by a planning consultant.
