A fictional British motorist has welcomed the convenience of digital parking after spending only twenty-three minutes proving he was a person who owned both a car and an email address.
The journey began with a simple ambition: to buy a loaf of bread. It soon acquired the familiar characteristics of a small corporate acquisition, including identity checks, multiple passwords and a fee nobody could quite explain.
The payment machine had been removed to improve the customer experience. In its place stood a sign inviting customers to download the experience themselves. Mobile reception was available at the bakery, which he could reach once he had paid to leave the car.
His first password lacked a symbol. His second resembled an existing password. His third met the requirements but was rejected on grounds of optimism. A verification email finally arrived, offering a discount on parking he had already used while waiting for it.
An invented efficiency consultant explained that the old system had required someone to empty a box of coins. The new one merely required every visitor to perform unpaid administrative work. Across thousands of visitors, the savings were considerable and belonged entirely to somebody else.
By the time payment cleared, the loaf had sold out. The motorist bought a birthday card instead. He had not needed one when he arrived, but had aged sufficiently to feel it was appropriate.
