An imaginary technology investor has hailed robotic babysitting as the answer to childcare costs, provided parents first solve the smaller problem of having eighty-nine thousand dollars available for a babysitter.
The fictional sales presentation describes the purchase as an investment in freedom. Parents can finally enjoy an evening out while worrying about a different, considerably more expensive thing in the house.
Engineers in this invented scenario have identified the central challenge as teaching a machine to understand children. The prototype can process speech, recognise objects and navigate complex environments, but has yet to establish whether the banana must be peeled, must not be peeled or must somehow be restored to its original condition.
A scheduled demonstration ended when an imaginary toddler requested the other cup. The robot selected another cup. This was incorrect. After evaluating every cup in the kitchen, it submitted a support ticket asking whether ‘other’ was a physical property or an accusation.
The investor remained optimistic. Human carers also struggle with these situations, he explained, but robots offer detailed logs of the struggle. Parents would receive a daily report confirming exactly when the machine began questioning its purpose.
The next development milestone is overnight care. Engineers are currently training the system to stand in a doorway at three in the morning, negotiating with someone who has suddenly remembered a sticker.
