A man who repeatedly demanded a proper summer has declined interview requests from inside a room containing three fans and a damp expression. His earlier comments remain publicly available in every conversation he has had since February.
Neighbours recall him saying Britain could do with a bit of sunshine, that people complain too much and that it would be lovely to sit outside. He now describes sunlight as oppressive and has asked whether the council can do something about the angle. The garden chair he insisted on buying is currently too hot to sit on.
His wife said the difficulty was not that he had changed his mind but that he continued speaking as if both positions were evidence of superior judgement. Breakfast briefings alternate between complaints about stuffiness and warnings that opening a window will let the heat in. Nobody has been authorised to suggest a walk.
The family has agreed to restore his original statement when cooler weather arrives, allowing him to resume demanding the summer he briefly received. He is expected to say the country never gets a proper one. Asked to define proper, he described weather from a holiday twenty-three years ago, experienced beside a pool by somebody who did not yet have to work the following morning.
