A British customer has written a complaint on actual paper after concluding that instant digital support has made it far too convenient for companies to disappoint him.
Nigel Croft spent forty minutes explaining a billing problem to a chatbot which repeatedly congratulated him on choosing the service. The chatbot then suggested he contact the company, an organisation Nigel believed he was already contacting.
He has now posted three carefully worded pages, containing evidence, a chronological account and the phrase “I trust this clarifies matters”, which his wife describes as the verbal equivalent of putting on boxing gloves.
The company has no idea the letter is coming. This is one of several features Nigel enjoys, alongside the absence of a satisfaction survey before anything has happened.
He expects a reply in due course, a period he considers more dignified than being told an adviser will be with him shortly while a loop of piano music slowly dismantles his personality.
If the letter fails, he plans to write another, shorter letter. This will begin “Further to my previous correspondence”. The company’s risk team has not yet identified the threat, but Nigel has already selected the good fountain pen.
