An unsold winter coat has written to the weather requesting a more commercially appropriate temperature. The garment entered the shop in August with ambitious autumn objectives and has spent most of September watching people buy cold drinks.
In its letter, the coat explains that it has completed all necessary preparation, including becoming camel-coloured and being photographed beside a thoughtful wall. It cannot reasonably be held responsible for customers continuing to possess warm shoulders. Several scarves have co-signed the complaint, though a lightweight jacket is pursuing a separate strategy.
The retailer has attempted to stimulate demand through window displays featuring leaves, a small wooden stool and the suggestion of an emotionally satisfying walk. Shoppers remain unconvinced, pointing out that they are currently sweating. Staff have been advised to use the word layering until conditions improve.
The coat is open to negotiation and would accept two properly chilly mornings as an interim measure. Otherwise it expects to be discounted before anybody has genuinely needed it, allowing shoppers to celebrate a saving on something they were unable to justify a fortnight earlier. The weather has sent no reply. The coat regards this as a disappointing lack of stakeholder engagement.
